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Wife : Best friend / Lover ?
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Can wife be a best friend and lover at the same time?
According to my hubby, nope...
I was stunned when I heard his explanation..
He mentioned if best friend, u give suggestion and your suggestion will never be biased towards yourself, unlike lover, suggestion will surely be biased, for your own benefit..
Come to think of his statement..betul la tu...kadang2 i bagi suggestion, ada jugak unsur2 bias tu especially if i was involved in the situation..
So now..bila my hubby has problem, I have to state my role intially, either i want to be his best friend or lover bila i give advice...normally, i have to play two roles..
Payah jugak yer bila u nak ambik these two roles at 1 time...jadi lover tak susah, sb u talk from your heart..jadi best friend tu susah, sb u kena letak emotion kat bawah sekali, tapi letak akal kat atas...duh duh...
Tahlaaa..mungkin some of you out there experience this..or maybe not.. |
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Reply #1 norsha's post
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hmm..tak bole ker? I want to be both.. |
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payah....like norsha said..u cant be indifferent esp if berkenaan dgn u juga.
tu psl if frens, we can talk about everything..but with hb/wife, kena berlapik. kang tak psl2 kena drill. and dgn frens kita leh berseloroh, no hard feelings...dgn spouse kena tgk apa yg diselorohkan tu. kang ada yg merajuk. |
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Reply #2 midori88's post
i pun want to be both...
tapi my husband selalu comment yg i need lots of effort to be both...
nie tengah belajar laa nie... |
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norsha...
i think u are rite ....
but as for me....i can be objective as i can...since i am very frank person....tapi my other half pulak ingat i ni bodek2 /amik hati dia...sbb he thought that i might be benefited from the solutions....
contoh....
one day i told him...he is more suitable in his lecturing,imparting his knowledge rather than his current job....he told me...u asked me to change my job because u want me to be by urside everyday eh?
walhal dia yg tanya kita....which one yg i rasa bagus utk career advancement dia...bila i dah jawab based on his skills dia pi kalih ikut situ pulak....
recently pulak....ada kawan baik dia offer dia the exact nature of job of which i suggested earlier.....based on the same reason...his skills....
when he told me the same story....i cuma  je....
yes....kadang mmg susah nak jadi lover/friends simultaneously without hurting or reducing the other half functions...... |
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Reply #6 Qurnia's post
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hahahaha..i've been in that situation too...kadang2 solution kita di salah ertikan..padahal kalau dia tanya kawan2 dia, rasanya solution yg sama jugak depa bagi... |
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tricky, eh? i cab be both, tp my hubby tak suke bab best fren yg give opposite view, dia suke yg support view je.. so, bila i said what i meant that's against his view, tarik muka da.. so i think my role as best fren sampai takat supportive je la.. |
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as for me ...i can choose to be like one if needed but most of the time, i choose to be his enemy instead...
frens can be franked, lovers can be soo biased...and enemy can give u an opposite perspective, tapi kena ikut mood lah masa tu...kalo dia tgh down, i will stand by him no matter what it takes, masa org lain sgt2 sinikal dgn projek baru nie...i am the one who supports him up and down, pernah sekali me jawab masa dia tgh sedih...i patted his back, even the place is in marikh or saturn....i believe in my heart, you can do it!!!
tapi kalo tgh masa dia high up in the sky...i will give him the worst case scenario |
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Reply #9 my-alja's post
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setuju..... |
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Manusia manalah yg mula2 pecahkan hubungan hb/wife kepada 2 istilah ketika berkomunikasi.....
Ni yg masalah ni...sepatutnya hb n wife boleh n berupaya menjadi both at the same time! Sebabnya, mereka pernah bercinta sebelum berkawin..malah pernah menjadi kawan sebelum bercinta tu....mengapa selepas berkawin mereka patut hidden kan wonderful ability tu? |
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i'm his best friend, travel buddy, lover also wife...
i give my best to him and received the same...
i can't bezakan so semua berlaku serentak..
faham ke.. |
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masa lepaskan kentot, best friend
masa tahankan kentot, lover  |
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errr....
Aku dah kawin 8 tahun... aku masih tk pasti sama ada aku nih his bestfren or not... tp lover mmg dah pasti....
Dia plak... lover dah pasti... but not reach bestfren nye level... becoz I can't be frank to him... |
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we were bestfriends first
and now we are still best of friends and lovers hatta husband and wife
i think it depends on situations
some situation requires you to become a lover
and others may need you to be their friend, accountant, banker etc etc
the same treatment for me
my husband can be either depending on situation
and yet, we are still learning each other
eventhough dah almost 4 tahun kawen and 13 tahun kawan |
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Originally posted by kambeng_masam at 27-8-2007 02:19 AM 
Manusia manalah yg mula2 pecahkan hubungan hb/wife kepada 2 istilah ketika berkomunikasi.....
Ni yg masalah ni...sepatutnya hb n wife boleh n berupaya menjadi both at the same tim ...
ni bukan masalah pecah memecah.....cuma peranan yg dimainkan pada sesuatu masa.....wife, isteri, ibu, kekasih, guru disiplin, boss kat pejabat, pembantu rumah, tukang urut dan pelbagai lagi....
fyi, i tak bercinta pun sebelum kawin...berkawan pun tidak....tapi masih boleh melakukan pelbagai function yg dibincangkan di sini.....
therefore....jgn pukul rata je....tak semua masalah sama.... |
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Reply #1 norsha's post
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come to think of it, memang susah nak jadi best friend suami ni..hehehe |
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Post time 26-8-2007 10:00 AM
变色卡
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