Lelaki sedih dan nak bersendirian. Whats next?

bulanbulat

Im 32f, the guy 31m

I kenal dia dah lama. Satu tempat kerja. I gred lagi tinggi dari dia.
All this while i minat dia, crush at first sight (4 tahun dah)

tapi i tau dia dah ada gf. So i x kacau la kan. Jumpa time kerja, balik. Mostly kerja x sesama. Tak bercakap kalau x perlu . I pernah betul2 kerja dengan dia sebulan ja tahun lepas. Dia malu2, tak banyak cakap . Personaliti dia mcm tu dan mungkin sebab i kira superior dia?  I jenis bubbly. Lepas tu i tukar tempat kerja, jauh. Tapi sometime i akan visit his workplace as part of my job. 3-4 months once ke.

Past 3 weeks, dia contact i.. Wish puasa, tanya khabar i. Kerap pulak tu. Whole day text i. Tanya khabar, dah makan ke, berbuka apa. I ok ke tak.. Since bulan puasa i outstation and spend raya alone, plus birthday i jugak. Kitorang tak date ke apa, both lf us busy with work. Tambah nak raya.

I risik dari kawan, he dah x bersama dengan exgf. Perbezaan agama, parents gf x setuju dorang kawin. I tak tanya dia la, bukan masanya lagi.

Dari mesej yg kerap tu, dia start call i.
Every other day mesti call lepas dia habis kerja. Dia banyak guna emojis jugak. Dia kerja double shift, jadi i tak kacau dia sangat. Kawan kerja kan. Letih. Dia siap share jadual kerja dia dengan i..

Then lepas raya.. Dia start x sihat. Batuk.
Demam sikit. After that he senyap. Call pun tak. Bila i say hi, dia cakap dia busy dan tak sihat.
Then i bagila food and ubat dekat dia. Dia call i malam tu. Tu pun lepas i text dia and tanya boleh tak nak call.

Then today i tanya khabar. Dia cakap dia x ok, mentally x ok, hati x ok. I offer nak call, he x nak i call. He want to be alone and rest. 'tak nak cakap dengan sapa sapa. Nak menyendiri. Nak rest'

Soalannya, what should i do?

Dia tengah reject i ke?  should i stop texting him?

Or he really sad, which im willing to give him time to recover. Should i check on him often, just to show that i care? Just say hi, are u ok then bye. Nanti dia sesak pulak.

If i were to mirror his behaviour, dia text i 3x/day tanya i ok le x. Walau i ok ja


I jenis caring. I nak hantar dia cake or drinks to make sure dia makan (selalu i just drop di pantry, x jumpa dia pun cos busy), nanti dia mcm eh x paham ke pompuan ni.

I ni clueless.. I tak paham. Nak tunjuk caring ke tak payah.
I like him, obvious kan. Kalau x suka babailah engkau.

lattehazelnut

Terus terang sis how u feel..
kalau kne reject pun u got nothing to lose..

bulanbulat

lattehazelnut replied at 18-5-2022 04:46 AM
Terus terang sis how u feel..
kalau kne reject pun u got nothing to lose..

Am planning to. Tapi x sampai sebulan kan...
Now he is 'sad', tak appropriate pulak timing

kaoru44

Rasanya mcm xsalah pun kalau tt bgthu dia prasaan tt..
Sbb dr tt cter tu..dia yg cari tt dulu..so dia bminat jgk ngn tt kn..mybe sekejap je dia rasa down tu..campur itu ini kn..so nak myendiri smntara..

Nnasda53

Tt bg tau je perasaan tt kat dia.
Siasat betul2 dia single atau tak.
Cuma iols nak ingatkan yang kita suka tu belum tentu baik utk kita.

MrsVeneer

Dia tgh frust dgn gf dia or new gf. U tmt dia lpskan resah. No feeling whatsoever.
Many man n women mcm ni. Dia sakit hati kt org dia sayang dia gi mess up dgn feeling org lain..been there done that bestie

green~tea

Kalo dia layan u... means dia rebound je....  u ok ke kalo camtu... that guy blom move on from his past relationship pun

MissyMolly

Baru nk ckp tah2 rebound jurrr tp ikut u la tt. Kata mmg ikhlas nk bantu dia smgt semula kan... jgn terguris hati sudah. Hati2 ok

bulanbulat

kaoru44 replied at 18-5-2022 09:36 AM
Rasanya mcm xsalah pun kalau tt bgthu dia prasaan tt..
Sbb dr tt cter tu..dia yg cari tt dulu..so di ...

Nanti masa sesuai i tanya.
Dah 30s ni terus terang je la kan. Ko x nak babai

bulanbulat

Nnasda53 replied at 18-5-2022 09:55 AM
Tt bg tau je perasaan tt kat dia.
Siasat betul2 dia single atau tak.
Cuma iols nak ingatkan yang kit ...

Baiklah. I patut istikharah tp malas. Ke denial

bulanbulat

MrsVeneer replied at 18-5-2022 10:58 AM
Dia tgh frust dgn gf dia or new gf. U tmt dia lpskan resah. No feeling whatsoever.
Many man n women  ...

Ok ill be cautious. X yah layan ke camna? Apa pengalaman u?

bulanbulat

green~tea replied at 18-5-2022 11:19 AM
Kalo dia layan u... means dia rebound je....  u ok ke kalo camtu... that guy blom move on from his p ...

Betul jugak kan. I la x cerdik kalau menaruh harapan

bulanbulat

MissyMolly replied at 18-5-2022 12:16 PM
Baru nk ckp tah2 rebound jurrr tp ikut u la tt. Kata mmg ikhlas nk bantu dia smgt semula kan... jgn  ...

I ni sokmo ikhlas, pastu terguris. Pattern sangat dah.

MrsVeneer

bulanbulat replied at 18-5-2022 12:49 PM
Ok ill be cautious. X yah layan ke camna? Apa pengalaman u?

Eh dia buat kite pelepas sunyi, so kite buat jugelah kt dia. Tp i is takut u je terbawa perasaan. Layan jelah. Tp jgn berharap lbh ye.

bulanbulat

MrsVeneer replied at 18-5-2022 01:23 PM
Eh dia buat kite pelepas sunyi, so kite buat jugelah kt dia. Tp i is takut u je terbawa perasaan.  ...

Haha boleh jugak kan. I ni naive, satg i yg frust. Harini mood i dah malas nak layan pulak lepas baca komen2 sini.

Moga dijauhkan dari laki yg x serius.

MissyMolly

bulanbulat replied at 18-5-2022 12:50 PM
I ni sokmo ikhlas, pastu terguris. Pattern sangat dah.

I rasa kalau u hati kering. Biar je la dia nak menyindiri.

Kalau u mmg ok dilukai, akan terasa kecil hati etc, pm2 je la tepi tanya2 sekali sekala. Bkn bossy mode. Concern mode. Kdg kita wonder gak kan dia ok ke, dah mkn ke, demam ke

becir

U ikut je rentak dia..dia msg u balas, dia call u jawab, dia nak alone u leave him damn alone.

Dah gi create tinder profile. U might not meet future hubby here tapi best apa dapat borak ngan opposite sex walau sekejap cuma. You'll be surprised with the things u might learn from others .

Mrperfect2

ooooo...dengarkanlah disepanjang malam aku berdoa,bersujud dan lalu meminta ,moga kita kan bersama,,woooooo...dengarkanlah disepanjang malam aku berdoa,cintaku untukmu selalu terjaga dan aku terus setia,wo...wo...wooo

bulanbulat

becir replied at 25-5-2022 12:55 PM
U ikut je rentak dia..dia msg u balas, dia call u jawab, dia nak alone u leave him damn alone.

Dah  ...

I'll do this. Selamat dah i kena ghosted.

Belajar sensitized kan diri

mbhcsf

pada i be an understanding friend dulu , sebab mamat ni tengah recover from his painful relationship, takut takut kalau dia tak ready ke.

So to safe guard your own emotional and mental well being, kjust be yourself   and also be mindful to just keep being friends, KIV je dulu  tapi jgn taruh harapan.

dan kalau  u nak sembang just jgn terus ke topic but just let him citer ke opened up apa apa dia nak opened up. What you could do  is to encourage positive communication or let him ventilate his feelings first , sebab i think semak kot fikiran dia. masa ni kalau u nak risik dia nyer expectation, thoughts about future relationhsip yg dia nak ke ape ke , boleh buat secara tanpa sedar..pepandailah sembang...

Be like his  friend dulu. assess the situation , say 3-5 months from now , if you nak terus  terang  yeah you can.

sebenarnya tak rugi pun memana step u ambil , tapi mesti kena jaga  your own mental, emotional weel being. Setakat mana u nak jadi kawan and setakat mana you nak harap.

paling baik , jgn harap ape ape.