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Reply #123 Dunhill.'s post
based on yang dilalui oleh salah seorang ahli keluarga gua...
kalau tak de bukti sahih yang isteri mempunyai sebab untuk meminta cerai...atau untuk suami menceraikan isteri....memang dia rang akan bagi dates for both party to attend kaunseling session....
kalau any party tak datang....then they will send another reminder....sampai tiga kali rasanya...baru dia rang dfixed ates untuk masuk mahkamah.....tak datang gak...then baru la hakim buat keputusan..... |
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Reply #125 cantthinkofany's post
Sbb tu sy & hb musykil sikit bila tarikh bicara tu cuma seminggu dr tarikh kami submit permohonan. Langsung depa x tanya apa2 or suggest kami pg kaunseling. At least three months tht we expect turn out to just a week!
Sorg kwn sy kata sebaik2nya peg mkmah tu suggest pg kaunseling dulu...At least depa ada smcm usaha utk memperbaiki keadaan...Takde la mcm depa pun ye ye je nak org bercerai-berai...
Sy ada talifon tanya peg mkmah tu apa procedure masa bicara nanti...dia kata ada kes yg mana hakim x kasi judgement or tak benarkan suami lafaz cerai on tht day. In fact, dia tanya hb & wf punya point of view...then hakim tangguhkan ke tarikh lain...dlm 2, 3 bulan jugak la...
Tau tau la masa sy bicara on 17th Apr nanti mcm mana... |
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hmmm... this is ur second marriage rupanya... meaning that you have a child of your own...
Kalau Zanorba nak dptkan another zuriat hoping that the husband might forget about the gf maybe it is not a wise decision.
Lebih baik fikirkan kebjikan ur daughter. |
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salam..
sblm tu nak ngaku... i x baca semua pages yg ada...
i just baca page 1 n 2 sj....
so, utk page yg terawal tu...
pada pandangan saya la kan...
nampaknya hubby u yg ada problem...
takde anak mmg boleh jadikan bosan.....
tp, bkn la alasan utk kasih beralih arah....
yg sebaiknya, cari jalan bagaimana utk mendapatkan zuriat...
dr segi zuriat, i pun sama macam u....
masih x de lagi...
tp bezanya...
1- i baru masuk tahun keempat kahwin, wlupun lebih baru banding u, tp jangka masa ni dah kira lama...
2- hubby i smmgnya da problem dlm hal ni... dah check n confirmed.... (n i x sedia nk share prob dia kat sini, biar i sorang yg tahu) 
3- tp as long as dia layan i baik, masih cinta n kasih ngan i.... so x de sbb i perlu beralih arah...
takde anak...? i anggap itu sebagai dugaan dlm hidup.... taupun mungkin itu lebih baik utk kami.... Tuhan Maha Mengetahui... i percaya ada hikmah di sebaliknya....
4- bosan sbb x de anak? kalau bosan, kami sama2 cari hobi lain.... selain dari idea nk cari gf atau bf lain la... cthnya, kami pg vacation, main playstation, surfing internet.... tgk wayang, pg spa, tgk cd korea, buat pilates ka..... apa2 la... yg blh dibuat...
mmg ada masanya bosan... tapi nak buat macamana kan...
tp dugaan/ cabaran mmg ttp ada..... cth bila balik kg hubby... sedara mara dia semua kata i x nak beranak lagi....suruh pg berubat sana sini... i just senyum n cakap masih blm ada rezeki lg... tp dlm hati... helloooo..... bkn i yg problem tau.... tp just kat dlm hati je la.... x tergamak nak luahkan.... jatuh plak air muka hubby nanti...
tp itu kita kan.... lelaki may b x kan blh sekuat kita.... kalau ada, wahai lelaki,... engkau mungkin seorang dalam sejuta....
yg lain mostly ckp nakkan anak sendiri.... habis yg kita pompuan ni takkan nak anak org lain... mst nak anak sendiri jg... tp msh blh bersabar...
so.... kalau keadaan smmg nya x dapat diperbetulkan lagi.... terimalah dgn hati terbuka... percayalah ada hikmah di sebaliknya... Tuhan Maha Mengetahui....
tp kalau masih ada jalan utk memperbaiki keadaan, berilah peluang lagi... mana tau berjaya.... kerana kejayaan yg didapati setelah pelbagai dugaan amat besar maknanya...
so, pada tuan rumah.. i doakan semoga apapun keadaan u selpas ni... semoga u akan bertambah bahagia dan gembira....
dan utk diri i sendiri plak.... i harap kami berdua akan terus dpt bertahan selamanya.... (dan semoga keajaiban berlaku)...
Amin............
[ Last edited by adiksinchan at 30-1-2008 03:06 PM ] |
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Originally posted by zanorba at 30-1-2008 10:53 AM 
Sbb tu sy & hb musykil sikit bila tarikh bicara tu cuma seminggu dr tarikh kami submit permohonan. Langsung depa x tanya apa2 or suggest kami pg kaunseling. At least three months tht we expect tu ...
haa....betul la tu...dia panggil bukan nak suruh suami lu lafaz...but more of understanding the view of each party....then baru dia decide whether lu mahu dikaunseling kan atau nak terus jer cerai.....kalau masa dia tanya...both party macam tak sure jer about the perceraian...then of course la both of you kena attend kaunseling...kalau memang tak leh nak diselamatkan...dua dua tenung macam nak bunuh membunuh jer....then dia would recommend untuk official talak.... |
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Reply #128 adiksinchan's post
TQ adiksinchan...
Sama le kita...sama tp tak serupa, rite?
I like this quote...
"yg lain mostly ckp nakkan anak sendiri.... habis yg kita pompuan ni takkan nak anak org lain... mst nak anak sendiri jg... tp msh blh bersabar..."
Sbb depa lelaki leh kawin 4 wooo....depa walau dah 80thn, their sperm still active! Tak mcm kita pprn nih, dah monopause...mana nak branak lg, ye dak?
Harapnya kaum suami ni akan faham yg burden x dpt zuriat ni lebih kepada kaum isteri...and stil...kita boleh bersabar...kan? |
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Reply #129 cantthinkofany's post
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sorry la utk yg sukar dpt anak, bagi yg senang dpt ni rasa bersalah la pulak |
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I think dlm perkahwinan bukan saja perlu ada keserasian fizikal dan mental tapi juga keserasian sperm and eggs. Tentu kita pernah tengok pasangan yg lama kahwin x da anak, bercerai dan kahwin lain, boleh pulak dapat anak dgn pasangan yg baru.
pernah dengar about sperm yg too alkaline will be killed by eggs which is too acidic?
Dalam kes tuan rumah, kalau hubby x minat nak teruskan perkahwinan, let him go. If i am in yr case, i would not fight too hard for it. I always belive in Hikmah yg Allah nak bagi in return and i would think like this:
1. Now, i can spend more time with my own flesh and blood. She will be my number one priority. I will start planning with her what to do over the week end and during school holiday.
2. I will giving more attention to myself. I'll take up swimming classes ke, dancing poco poco ke, quranic classes ke and so on.
3. i will definitely re-schdule my time around me and my daughter and me again. |
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Reply #134 sribayu's post
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Yup..cant agree more with u..penatlah...zzzzzz |
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Originally posted by zanorba at 29-1-2008 03:14 PM
Sorry la Vvenus kalau u confuse..
This is my 2nd marriage laa...The daughter fr 1st marriage (which i been single mum since she's 1 yrs old).
Dgn 2nd ni dah masuk 7 tahun, still x de anak. Co ...
tah la ek...memasing punya pemikiran laaa...if i'm in your shoes, i takkan rasa bersalah langsung dlm hal ini. sebab bukannya takleh beranak pun. also dah ada satu anak. so, for me, tu dah lebih dari cukup. kalu hubby nak sangat blah, biaq pi dia blah. lagi senang idup..tak perlu nak sakit2 hati..baik concentrate dgn anak yg sedia ada, mantapkan lagi career, dan juga kejar apa2 juga target dlm idup nih. |
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nak tanyala..
misal kata nak antar borang aduan for kaunseling or cerai..kena bayar ke? coz my fren kate free...pastu ade dengar kena bayar rm25...betul ke? |
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i mungkin x kawin lagi... tapi i nak bagi pendapat i ... pada i u boleh teruskan dgn usaha u utk dapatkan anak.. lagi pun ur husband dah bagi kerja samakan... kalu allah dah tetapkan jodoh korang panjang .. insya allah.. mungkin u akan pregnant.. dan keadaan u akan kembali pulih...dan husband u akan balik pada u...lagi pun ini mungkin ujian allah.... lagi pun usaha untuk pergnant 2 ada lah salah satu usaha u utk pertahanan kan perkahwinan u... sekurang2nya jika u x pergnant dan bercerai..u dah berusaha sehabis baik.. utk perkahwinan u..... dan u xkan menyesal lepas 2 |
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lagipun kalu u pregnant dan husband u still cerai kan u... that ok...teruskan hidup...peliharalah anak itu...sebab dgn didikan yg sempurna, anak itu yg menyelamatkan u di akhirat, satu ari nanti husband u akan tau apa yg dia rugi...dunia xkan kiamat kalu dia ceraikan u... |
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Reply #138 leaika's post
Dear leaika,
Antar borang for kaunseling x sama dgn antar/daftar for permohonan cerai or daftar pengesahan cerai (for cerai luar mahkamah)
Mmg antar borang for kaunseling to free je..RM25 tuh utk the later kes jek...
Normally, for kaunseling, kita rujuk ke pej agama dulu, tp untuk direct daftar permohonan cerai, kena terus pg Mkmah Syariah (ni utk selangor ;e, negri lain x tau la pulak).
In my case, i think it is more to what dunhill & canthinkofany said-mkmah lebih kepada nak dengar keterangan kedua2 pihak dulu....Tinggal lg hb le nak insist cerai on tht day or not! |
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Reply #140 ayang79's post
Tq ayang79...
Update sikit...Hb dah bg tau gf dia yg dia masih suami org. Kesan drpd tuh, the gf nak slow down dulu hubungan mrk (she's disappointed coz all this while she's been cheated by my hb) tp still mengharap pd hb...she did sms to hb tht she feels guilty to me...
Sy berdebar menanti tanggal 17 April ni...Masih berusaha mendapatkan zuriat dan doa pd Allah sj...Rasanya tempoh yg ada terlalu singkat pulak (dah le menstrual sy x betul...bln ni P lambat lg, so x dpt la nak buat HSG secepat mungkin  ) |
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Originally posted by zanorba at 21-1-2008 12:20 PM 
I did asked him this question...his answer is always 'yes!...But....
Kui kui kui zanorba,
I got a friend in the same situation.
After divorced............both of them got married to someone else.
And both of them dah dapat zuriat.......
Itu laa kuasa Yang Maha Esa. |
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Reply #143 niceghost2005's post
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I try my best to have the same strength...the same courage...to look forward for the same as ur friend |
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Originally posted by zanorba at 21-2-2008 02:39 PM
I try my best to have the same strength...the same courage...to look forward for the same as ur friend
I'll pray the same for you.....zanorba
Amen..... |
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Post time 30-1-2008 09:42 AM
Author
