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The 5 Sides of Intimacy
Hint: It's more than just sex
By Gary D. Chapman
Henry was usually jovial and positive. Last night, however, he came late to our church meeting and didn't have much to say.
"I'll never understand women," he told me after the meeting. "My wife thinks we need more intimacy. She says we aren't as close as we used to be. I don't know what she's talking about. I thought we had a good marriage."
All-encompassing
There's something about our psychological, spiritual, and physical makeup that cries out for intimacy with another. That's because God designed marriage to be the most intimate of all human relationships, in which we share life intellectually, socially, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Are you and your spouse intimate in these ways?
Intellectual intimacy. This isn't about discussing highly intellectual ideas. The important thing is discussing your thoughts. They may be thoughts about food, finances, health, crime, work, politics. They reveal something of what's gone on in your mind throughout the day.
Social intimacy. This has to do with spending time around the events of life. Some of these events we experience together; others happen while we're apart and are shared through open communication. Much of life involves doing. When we do things together, we not only develop a sense of teamwork, we also enhance our sense of intimacy.
Emotional intimacy. Feelings are our spontaneous, emotional responses to what we encounter through the five senses. I see the fire truck racing down the road and I feel troubled. You touch my hand and I feel loved. When we share emotions, we build emotional intimacy.
Spiritual intimacy. Often the least excavated of all the foundations of marital intimacy, yet this has a significant impact on the others. It doesn't require agreement of belief on every detail. Instead, we seek to tell each other what's going on in our inner self. It's discussing our thoughts about spiritual realities. The purpose isn't agreement, but understanding.
Physical intimacy. Because men and women are different (long live their differences!), we often come at sexual intimacy in different ways. The husband's emphasis is often on the physical aspects梩he seeing, touching, and climax are the focus of his attention. The wife, though, comes to sexual intimacy with more interest in the relationship. To feel loved, appreciated, and treated tenderly brings her great joy. Sexual intimacy requires understanding and responding to these differences.
Practicing intimacy
An essential ingredient of intimacy is allowing your spouse to be himself without striving to conform him to your ideals.
In intimacy, we try to grow closer together, not to eliminate the "otherness," but to enjoy it. Men and women are different and we must not, even with good intentions, seek to destroy those differences.
What keeps us from experiencing intimacy? All of us are egocentric; the world revolves around us. Yet, when we focus on self, we lose intimacy.
The opposite of self-centeredness, then, is love. Love concentrates on the well-being of the spouse. We take time to listen to the thoughts, feelings, and desires of our spouse. We seek to understand and to respond with empathy. We choose to do things with each other, even things that may not be our favorite activities, simply because we want to be with each other.
In the context of such intimacy we become supportive and caring of each other, which builds a stronger, more contented marriage |
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1. sebelum ucap rasa cinta pada pasangan masing2
2. rajin mengucapkan rasa sayang pada pasangan pada bila2 waktu
3. selalu bergurau senda antara satu sama lain
4. megimbau kenangan2 waktu bercinta dan ada waktu untuk keluar berdua-duaan macam masa bercinta
5. make him or her feel good...making love to his / her mind sebelum real action takes place...kenalah ngorat-ngorat sikit....kena make partner rasa bahagia dulu, elak gado2 atau benda2 yang boleh buat turned off...ha, yang ini kan...as perempuan, sangat penting bagi emo....mood main peranan sangat...
6. sekali-sekala tengah malam time pasangan kita tido tu, cium dan ucap yang kita sayang kat dia (my husband kerap gak buat....kadang-kadang time berdengkur tu terkejut gak dibuatnya...but later, i feel good knowing that he still feels me beautiful walopun emo tengah tido dengan rupa yang pucat takdak mekap segala...)
7. after the intimacy tu, pasangan jangan sekali-kali buat hal masing2...kekalkan the mood tu sampai keesokannnya. Show that you thank him/her for the good times.
8. memahami pasangan and give him/her some space of her own. Contohlah, suami nih 'nak' yang bini ni takdak mood.....suami try to understand that feeling wife tu bukan macam switch tv boleh main petik on and off je....so sekali-sekala respect the wife wish tu...emo bagi contoh orang pompuan sebab orang pompuan nih sometimes can be very moody gak...and when bad mood, lagi teruk dari orang lelaki....so bila rasa macam terpaksa....mana lah nak datang intimacy tu....woman will appreciate more kalo pasangan cuba memahami.....and they will give tripple in return nanti ....
9. yang pompuan jangan asek nak berkaftan baju kelawar je, dengan muka tempek bedak sejuk cam tepung gomak....nak tido tu melawa2 sikit, kalo keluar bekerja boleh melawa, nak tido...plain jek (haku membebel cam makcik2 le pulak )...tido dengan pakaian yang merangsang minda partner kita. The same goes to lelaki, jangan asek kain pelikat jek....pakailah boxer ke yang enhance 'kejantanan' tu ...kasik nampak macho sikit....berwangi-wangian waktu nak tido....some men find it a turn-on bila lihat bini depa tanpa seurat benang, some men pulak prefer yang 'nampak-tak-nampak' atau dalam erti kata nampak the body tu sipi-sipi jek....macam main peek-a-boo |
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intimacy..
aku ingatkan tadi sejenis lauk.. Nasib baik aku tak cari kat Bazaar Ramadhan...  |
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Reply #25 suami_gilagila2's post
LAUK?
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aku tumpang bace je dulu...
nnt leh praktikkan |
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secret intimasi ialah SHARING |
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OK, saya mulakan dulu.
Perkara yang saya selalu amalkan dengan isteri:
Mandi bersama
I think ...
Penulis Post at 6-10-2007 14:52 
mandi bersama tu cam ok lagi...tapi kalau tidur bersama tanpa pakaian tu, rasa mcm takut2 je...bukannya apa..zaman skrg ni...mcm2 blh berlaku...pencuri masuk dlm rumah ke, kebakaran ke atau apa2 kecemasan...mana nak carik pakaian masa tu...nauzubillah... |
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mcm na nk buat lebih2 kalu ada anak kecik bederet? dah tu hiperaktif plak...  |
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hhmm sama la kita anak suka berkepit..tido pun skali.. asal masuk bilik air dia pun melalak nak ikut... ketuk pintu mcm nak pecah...
anak plak jenis tido lewat... yuyai..mau pukul 1-2 pagi baru la nak dpt berkepit ngan suami.. tat time kepala memasing ingat nak tido jer almaklum ler esok kerja...
sebulan nak intimate gini kena ambik cuti spend masa berdua kat umah (ada masa nak intimate kat umah pun bosan.. nak bermesra kat tmpt lain tapi pasangan pulak tak berminat) ..anak tat time umah pengasuh... nak dptkan mood pun agak susah... tensen lagi ada... next time better plan check in kat hotel jela (jgn lupa bawa surat nikah plak )..
kalu pasangan yg boleh bersabar takpe jugak..hhuhuhuhu |
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Reply 33# manehnya
kasi anak2 ubat tidur agak2 berkesan tak? |
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Reply 35# ParinAmat
bleh la try |
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Note: Thread has been banned by manager
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seronok baca posting yang isteri2 pandai jaga hati dan kehendak suami.. |
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senang je nak tingkatkan initmasi suami isteri...suami kena berbini lagi satu... |
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Post time 8-10-2007 10:28 PM
hmy3: 
