your interest or your child's interest?

mummydhani

tis is actually kesinambungan dr my-alja's push... smpai mana?

tis might b one o the major concerns 4 us parents. which one shud come 1st? our interest or our children's interests?

some wud say, "oh! o course my child's interest!" - but wat if the interest isnt sumthing that could benefit the child himself? do we intervene, then?

kalu nk dulukn our interest plak, wat if the child x suka wit our choice or the child thinks that we r trying 2 dictate his life? lagi pon kite ngan anak pon ade generation gap...

ssh jugak ye...

macademia

mac introduce my interests to them.... kalau suka, take it, tak suka leave it. I also let them choose their interest, eg my girl suka taekwondo, but i was against it at first. But bila dia dah masuk, mac pulak suka.... hehe

when my no1 masuk form 1 tis yr, dia nak masuk band. I discouraged her, knowing life in the band leaves little time for other activities that i want her to try - debate, public speaking. But she still chose nak masuk band. OKla suka hatila, although i frust jugak with her choice.

Now? tahu pulak menyesal masuk band. I refrained my self from saying "I told u so" hehe.

But at least dia ambik hati i and masuk a 2-day debate workshop, infact masuk debate competition. Although she doesnt quite like it (dia kata its just not me), she understood why i want her to get the experience. Dia kata masuk debate really teaches her on public speaking, better her confidence level to speak on heavy issues, etc. She has no problem debating (in English) tapi she knows her weakness is suara dia takde power, takde semangat. (anak i ni cakap sopan santun sikit...) I was happy when she told me she wants to give it anotehr try next year.

So i would say.... 50-50 la.... both interest anak and interst mak..... (bec we know better.... hehe)

[ Last edited by  macademia at 6-9-2007 09:23 AM ]

mummydhani

thx mac
i ni anak br nk masuk 3y, but like i always say, sediakn payung b4 the rainy days la kan... equip myself & learn fr other parents...

i ni suka music & i think it wud b cool if my son jd musician... ikiki... drummer ke... kewllll...

tp kn la tgk his interest jugak kan... at 3, is it too early 2 tell?

CoKeLat-RaWkZ

so far me and my daughter are sharing the same interests, i.e. karaokeing, reading, PC games, sightseeing...

mummydhani

ni interest dr segi berlibur... camne plak dr segi academic? for example, katalah kalu ank sok nk minat art & design, tp kite rs IT has bigger prospect... camne plak ek?

macademia

Originally posted by mummydhani at 6-9-2007 09:06 AM
thx mac
i ni anak br nk masuk 3y, but like i always say, sediakn payung b4 the rainy days la kan... equip myself & learn fr other parents...

i ni suka music & i think it wud b cool if my  ...

Takpe..... bestla u all kaji benda2 ni awal2.... mac start masa anak sulung  8 tahun....

it depends, sometimes interest they all mmg boleh tau as early as 3, sometimes interest tu tiba2 muncul masa they are 10 yrs old or even 15 yrs old.

eg, masa my girl 3 tahun, i dah tau dia suka arts. BIla tengok dia lukis at that age pun, dah tau ada bakat. And sekarang ni mmg dok melukis and colouring ajer.

My eldest pun lagi awal dok into arts and lagi banyak competition yg dia menang. tapi now interest dia dah overshadowed by other activities. Maknanya interest dia dah bertukar arah. Dia dok buat arts pun once in a while ajer, eg HAri Merdeka hari tu....

Bab music tu, apa salahnya u expose him to drums. Tapi maybe not now, but later. Check with music school, what is the recommended age to play drums. Hantar cepat2 sangat, takut dia cepat boring (sebab masih tak pandai nak hayati the music) and also buang duit  u ajer pun sbb dia slow nak understand the notes.

I nak hantar my son to guitar classes sbb dari dulu i suka tgk guys romantic sangat play guitar.... dedicate the song to their loved ones (hehe) tapi my mom kata nanti tak pasal2 exposekan dia pada budak2 guitar yg lepak tepi jalan pulak......   So maybe piano or violin kut... hehe. Tapi kena decide cepat, piano can start now dah.... tapi violin at 10 yrs old baru digalakkan start.

macademia

Originally posted by mummydhani at 6-9-2007 09:33 AM
ni interest dr segi berlibur... camne plak dr segi academic? for example, katalah kalu ank sok nk minat art & design, tp kite rs IT has bigger prospect... camne plak ek?

to mac, IT is important. So immatterial dia minat ke tak.... i would send her to computer/IT related courses. Arts to kalau dia minat, hantar ajela.....

OR r u reffering to the course that she wants to take kat Uni ke?

mummydhani

i tgk cite ape ntah ek, bb tu his granny is a veteran artiste... as early as 8 mnths gitu die dh start xposing the bb 2 music, guna brg2 lam umah ee bowl, plate, cup...

org putih nye style lain kan... kite org melayu mane nk wat camni...

mummydhani

yup
hihi... discuss mcmla nxt week anak2 kite nk masuk U... ikiki...

i had two frens yg ayah derang sorta forced them 2 take courses yg derang x suka... fren A, die minat F&B, tp ayah die soh amik bisnes - sent her oversea, she flunked BIG TIME!

fren B, she was so in2 art, tp biase la, typical parents kan x nmpak ape faedahnye art ni... nk jd pelukis je ke? mane masyukkkk... hihi... so they made her take IT instead... she did good, but stil she resented her parents 4 dictating her life...

AmMiNafeesa

As for me...anakku baru nak masuk 3yo mcam anak mummydhani...so ..of course interest mamanye yang datang dulu....I minat dunia planet & angkasa..so I tengah terapkan my interest tu kat my dotter...kat TESCO i nampak ada jual teleskop yang morah morah punya la...49.90..nanti nak beli..suruh dia tengok bintang & bulan ..later on kalau dia tak interest dengan ini...dia boleh cari benda lain ikut minat dia.

mummydhani

ye la... btul jugak... kite knxpose derang wit various stuff, broaden their horizons... once they get older, let them determine kan...

tp kalu let them determine, kn ade limit jugak. my bro, he simply lets his son decide... anak die ms std 3, beli violin, konon nk mai violin la. std 4 beli guitar plak. now std 5, dok kumpul tennis rackets, dok syok main tennis... violin & guitar dh x sentuh pon...   pastu there was tis one time suka main bowling, siap anta main kt mana ntah, mak shalin jd coach... tp tu pon separuh jln jugak...

AmMiNafeesa

yang penting...walaupun ikut minat anak anak..kita kena push la pulak...,ni kena masuk thread push sampai mana..akekekeke

tak nak la macam anak your bro..yang sebenarnya i fikir dia masih tak tau apa yang dia minat..cuma dia nak cuba semua jer...daku tak mampu la nak antar anak ke semua class...

my-alja

nice topic mummy ...

as for me, whatever basic skills for life...that's my priority!...suka tak suka, i will use my veto power as a parent to make things happen...contoh cam swimg, taekwando, reading, ngaji, shooling, etc....l
dan me setuju dgn mac sebelum nie, anak dlm usia yg muda dia tak tahu apa yg dia nak, jadi me rasa i will provide the platform for him to try everything and he will decide later...

kalo ikutkan dia, semua dia tak suka...ngadap tv 24 jam kat rumah nie, hahahha...that is his favourite!

later on, kalo dia wise enuf to think what he wants...i just let him be, nak jadi spiderman pun boleh ...tapi setakat hobby sajalah, kalo batman lain...dia kaya-raya, tak perlu keje utk hidup!

mummydhani

btul... btul... i guess my nephew tu x tau kt mana strength die / minat die... tu yg dok cuba segala tu... ye la, org mampu, y not kan... kite yg seadanye ni, kn la limitkan... hihi...

CoKeLat-RaWkZ

Originally posted by mummydhani at 6-9-2007 09:33 AM
ni interest dr segi berlibur... camne plak dr segi academic? for example, katalah kalu ank sok nk minat art & design, tp kite rs IT has bigger prospect... camne plak ek?

hello mamidani....

Oh.. yang tu tak dapek eden nak monolong.. tp my doter ada masalah sikit with arts.. she always scores B & C.. how pathetic..
but one thing her maths, science and english memang top!  paling rendah dia punya score is 90++.  genetically she is more like Papa, not like her Mama, me.  I ni jenis suka artistic thing.  i hate maths, my SPM punya maths was 7 (lulus).

arasham

semua ibu/bapa nak yang terbaik tuk anak-anak mereka. tak timbul masalah
kepentingan kita atau anak. dari lahir kita yang mencorakkan mereka dan
kebanyakan kita memang nak anak-anak ikit footstep kita. but nowadays
budak-budak ni pemikiran mereka lebih advanced dari kita cara diorang tak sama
dengan kita. rasanya sekarang kita tak boleh dah menentukan aliran apa yang
nak dipilih oleh anak-anak ni. yang boleh di buat hanya menyokong dan membimbing
mereka.

poison32

hmm i learn from my parents mistake(my dad)..he push us to be wat he wants us to be..sampai 4 org anak dia dua jadi ..lagi dua(heheh me n my 2nd bro) tak menjadi..kami berdua jadi rebelious....rasa menyesal jugak tak ikut my dads advise..but he pushed us too much..terutama sekali me..i kena pukul pasal didnt do well in exam sampai masuk upper six lagi..siap depan org lagi tu... .........malu2..

but now since im a mum myself....i wont do tat to my daughter i want her to hav her own identity..of coz i ll monitor her all the way and tell her wat is wrong or right..but i will never push her towards my interest...insyaallah i hav a long way to go..i will try to be the best for her...

[ Last edited by  poison32 at 6-9-2007 03:55 PM ]

Elmina

Originally posted by macademia at 6-9-2007 09:01 AM
mac introduce my interests to them.... kalau suka, take it, tak sukaleave it. I also let them choose their interest, eg my girl sukataekwondo, but i was against it at first. But bila dia dah ma ...

yes, agree dengan Mac.
Anyway, i  ni  pun  dulu  mangsa  myparents'  interest. Awal  awal  dulu  mcm tak  suka  jugak  dgn  interest  yg diorang introduce,  tp  lepas  dah graduated,  rasa  mcm  nothing  is wrong  dgn  their  interest.  It  works both  ways  actually, combine both  interest and  make  it  more  fun  filling

sari_apot

biasalah macam parents lain buat, ikut interest kita dulu, buat ape yg kita tau dulu, pastu exposekan kat budak2 ni

i exposekan semuuua benda yg i tau kat my daughter....

art - buat origami, buat note book, drawing, decorating

academic- i make sure yg dia tak stress belajar... buat care yg dia paling phm

mengaji, kemas rumah, ajar buat akaun.. ( ni biar dia rase berape byk duit keluar n masuk)

bersukan, bersenam, menari, buat business

bertukang, memasak, computer...

so skarang yg dia minat buat ART... dia suke buat gambar kecik2 kat sekeliling kertas, pastu suke lukis emoticon

n dia bleh menjahit (blajar from my mom)... tak mcm mak dia!!

tapi kalau dia tak nak , takde lah nak pakse... n dia tau mcm akademik tu penting

so kesimpulannye, my interest is your interest n your basic knowledge...

sari_apot

i tak nak dia jadi cam i . dari dulu my dad slalu ckp belajar rajin2 supaya bleh kerja, nak kerja bagus kat bnk... tapi skang anknye belajar lain, buat kerja lain... tak kisah le, janji tak bebankan orang...