tak yah jerit2 kat anak; guna kekdah lain!!!

amazed

Wednesday July 1, 2009
A matter of discipline
CHILDWISE By RUTH LIEW

There are ways to get things done without screaming at your child.

HAVE you ever screamed at your child for misbehaving and later regret doing so? Many of us admit to such folly. The problem with screaming and shouting is that it makes the situation worse.

Children do not react positively to their parents’ shouting. They are the world’s greatest copycats. They would shout and scream back to get their way the moment they get a chance.

It is important to unlearn all the parenting lessons that promote full dominion over children. To do it right, you have to be that person you want your child to be. You do not want your children to act out your worst behaviour but to adopt your best behaviour.

Some families practise using “indoor” and “outdoor” voices. Parents would speak to their children as calmly as possible, no matter what the situation.

Children understand clearly that they can shout and scream outdoors because the high volume will not disturb others.

You may find it difficult to stay calm with your children at all times. Here are alternatives to screaming and shouting at them:

Bedtime

It is hard for many parents to keep their cool when it comes to getting active children to bed every night. With all that whining and fighting with siblings, it is easy for parents to yell at their children before packing them off to bed.

Many experts have suggested that setting a routine that is manageable and enjoyable for children can make bedtime a quiet and peaceful affair. Read your child’s favourite book together or cuddle up for some quiet time.

Start bedtime half an hour earlier so that children can prepare for it without the need to ask: “Can I have 10 minutes more to finish watching this show?” You can calmly say to your child: “You have half an hour to finish this show and then it’s off to bed.”

Waking up

Wake-up time is a noisy affair in my household. My two girls are always asking for more time in bed. To make it less intense, our wake-up call usually allows for that extra time they always ask for.

Like getting children to bed, waking up has to be pleasant, something children can look forward to.

Many families have a brief family moment before starting the day. You can say a prayer or read aloud a book for less than 10 minutes. Children can also get excited over small amounts of nutritious food for breakfast instead of making them eat large servings of food they dread seeing.

Remember, the more relaxed you feel, the happier your child will be. She will wake up and get ready for the day without much fuss.

Bath time

Getting school-age children to take their baths after school often results in a shouting match between parent and child.

Children come home from school tired and stressed out. They find it difficult to unwind, just like how their parents feel after a hard day’s work. Feeling irritable, children will pick a fight over the smallest issue.

Try doing something fun together to unwind for a few short moments. When your child gets a chance to talk about her day, you may want to suggest that she can make herself feel a lot better by washing worries away.

Homework time

This is really tough on many parents, especially the ones with primary schoolchildren. The overwhelming load of homework is off-putting to any young child. So instead of screaming at your child to do his homework, you may want to help him organise a little.

Accept that your child needs your help until he can do things independently. Rather than waste your energy on yelling at him to make him do his homework, spend time finding ways to make homework bearable.

Encourage him with positive words like, “You are working hard” or “I like the way you pay attention to your homework.”

They won’t listen to me

Children will take some time before they actually know what you really want of them. Be patient. Your yelling will not yield much cooperation anyway. They need time to adjust and change their ways.

Try treating them with respect and kind words. Your children are more likely to respond better to you when you treat them fairly. They know you are patient when you control your own behaviour. Just as you accept them, they will accept your ways to please you.

It is true that parents make mistakes when it comes to managing children’s behaviour. Rather than feeling guilty, turn it into a learning opportunity.

If you are at fault, apologise and show how you admit your mistake. Your children will learn better from your example. They may want to try that honest way of correcting their mistakes.




mmg ramai yg mak pak TERjerit ke hulu... memekik ke hiliq... nak suruh anak depa dengar ckp depa....  tu lagik stress kan otak ajer.....  tak yah TERjerit2 wokeyyyyyyy makpak sumer....   ko tak suka anak2 ko TERjerit2.... ko jangan jadik ROLE model camtu....   tak suka worang TERjerit2 kat ko........ko jgn TERjerit2 kat worang....   anak tu pun worang gak.. ada hati dan perasaan gak.....

KONTROL.......makpak weyyyyy  kena kontrol sket...  camner ko nak expek anak ko behave  baguih  kalu ko sundrik tak leh nak control emo ko tuh.....  hah!!!  stop and think before ko nak TERjerit2 dan marah2 kat anak2  wokeyyyyyyyyy   mate!!

rienafaiz

betul2... actually x boleh jerit2..
ckp elok2.. kalau x makan juga naik kan suara skit jee..
x payah jadi mcm org histeria.. pukul2 bagai nak rak

my-alja

ermmmm......cakap tu senang, nak buat tu yg payahhh

kalo dr mula bgn pagi....heret dia sampai depan bilik mandi
kena ingatkan gosok gigi.....ambik berus gigi, melanggut depan cermin
letak ubat gigi...melangut lagik depan cermin
berus gigi masuk dah dlm mulut....masih tak mula memberus, melangut lagik
nak pakai spendar...melangut lagik, tu tak pakai baju lagik...tak pakai seluar,
sarung kaki, pakai tie.....

memang carik pasal utk kena jerit!!!.....unless org yg ada helper
kitalah yg berlari nak buat bekfas....nak siapkan bekal sekolah
bukan tak cakap baik2....tapi kekadang bila masa tak cukup
i jerit dr dapur.....:geram:
it's OK...i'm deserved to be called as monster
i dun mind at all

putribatrisya

3# my-alja


yup, it;s true...

dgn anak 5 org, 4 lelaki n 1 pompuan...dgn diri ku yg preggy 6mths without any helper
i can't help myself..ada masa nya ter jerit juga................

nrshahirah

Wednesday July 1, 2009
mmg ramai yg mak pak TERjerit ke hulu... memekik ke hiliq... nak suruhanak depa dengar ckp depa....  tu lagik stress kan otak ajer.....  takyah TERjerit2 wokeyyyyyyy makpak sumer....   ko tak suka anak2 ****Rjerit2.... ko jangan jadik ROLE model camtu....   tak suka worangTERjerit2 kat ko........ko jgn TERjerit2 kat worang....   anak tu punworang gak.. ada hati dan perasaan gak.....

KONTROL.......makpak weyyyyy  kena kontrol sket...  camner ko nak expekanak ko behave  baguih  kalu ko sundrik tak leh nak control emo kotuh.....  hah!!!  stop and think before ko nak TERjerit2 dan marah2 katanak2  wokeyyyyyyyyy   mate!!
amazed Post at 1-7-2009 08:18

masalahnya kan...aku baca yg tuan rumah bagi posting ni pun mcm dah menjerit2

mcm my_alja ckp aku setuju le beb. 6.30am bus dah terpacak dpn umah. Kalo aku tak jerit alamatnya anak2 aku ntah sempat ke sek...kalo after cuti lama, 1st week sek bukak tu buleh derang tertido dlm bilik air..kalo aku tak sergah sahih tak bangun2

bLUe_jaMBu

5# nrshahirah

ho ho saya pon kiranya kategori monster gak..mmg kena cool down banyok2...mana taknya...she yell at me back...duhhss..nasib baik belum terlambat nak reverse

moimed

yup, me also like a monster at home. kalo cakap elok2 3x tak jalan, mmg memekik la aku kat umah tuh. i admit bukan seorang yg sangat penyabar, bukan lah ibu yg tersangat baik. tapi kita terjerit terpekik bila ada sebab bukan saja2...

p/s : baca posting org yg tepek artikel pon rasa mcm dia terjerit2 lebih dari kita. camner tuh? nak nasihat org kita pon tak betul lagi

pink_frog

sorry to say..menjerit is way for me to destress...hehehe

mummychiaz

mmg pun..i agree wth ya all. mamy berlembut ada hadnya..mmg tk makan..org ckp jgn eh dia buat jugak..3 kali ckp jgn cara baik2 tk jalan2 jugak..akhirnya..kluarla suara raksasa aku..br la dok diam..

aziiemy

i think i have to jerit jerit sikit pasal my son ni cakap slow slow pun tak jalan..  pressure betul..

syameen

Macam mana la nak control. Hilang sabar dibuatnye hari hari. Kita nie pun nak mengejar masa. Segala macam mak nenek nak kena kejar & buat.

Cakap bebaik x jalan2. Habis macam mana nak buat lagi...... poning palo den dgn kenah anak2 bertuah nie.

wakaka_eh

Kaka pun sama..cakap sekali dua tak makan saman..naknye jerit pun kadang2 tak makan saman gak ...
yang lelaki tu 5 years diejeknya kita balik..
girl 2 years tu suka mengikut..iklan pun nak ikut buat jugak..
kalau abang dia buat dia pun buat sama..sekarang dua2 pun dah apndai jerit kat kaka...tapi ibu dia tak bagi can punye...

manisah

yaya.. ramai rupanya geng monster kat sini..hehehh me pun monster at home jugak.............!!
jerit pun kengkadang tak jalan, bagi hanger kat kaki, cubit tu semua mcm semut gigit jer bagi anak i.... tak makan saman..............

Tapi bila i pikir balik, utk long effect mmg tak baik, sangat sangat tak baik utk emosi, physikology anak i.... i nk approach cara lain... baru tengah cari maklumat, tgh himpunkan doa doa...

Insyallah lepas ni nk approach cara rohani, nk amal doa-doa anak-anak, doa pelembut hati anak anak doa mendengar cakap, nk tiup dalam air minum anak i, dan bagi dia minum.... ada sapa pernah try tak??? kalau ada yg nk share doa-doa mujarab ni boleh jugak...

mehla kita sama-sama amalkan, rasanya kaedah insyallah saya rasa sangat sangat berkesan................

adiepro

Itulah yg saya setiap hari. Jerit-jerit kat semua anak I. camni kena kontrol laa nampaknya utk kebaikan semua.

http://www.score-a.myportal.my

shb

penat tau menjerit ni...banyak bakar kalori sebenarnya..
sampai bila pun nak terjerit2...
husband shb punya style 3 kali ckp elok2 tak faham juga,rotan terus.....cam shb nak juga kena berlatih 'vokal' depan anak2 (tak sampai ati sebenarnya nak rotan)...anyway setelah penat bakar kalori, esok benda yg sama berlaku juga...tapi bila dah kena rotan tak der la nak berulang benda yg sama keesokannya (tapi 2-3 minggu lepas tu ada kemungkinan utk diulangi....)

mami_kepo

aku lebih sanggup utk terjerit2 kat anak dr memukul diaorg...
kesian pulak...dlm keadaan marah, if kita pukul nanti terlebih2 pulak..
tp bila dh termarah kat anak2 ni, bila depa dh tidur, tgk wajah sorang2...rasa bersalah pun ada...tp niat dlm hati..selagi terdaya aku tak akan putus asa mendidik anak2...
satgi if berlembut sgt...naik kepala pulak...
ada jiran depan rumah pernah dgr aku mengajar anak time ulangkaji pelajaran, maybe suara terkuat sikit, dia siap sound kat bini dia.."mcm mana anak dia tak dpt No.1, hang pi dgrlah maknya mengajar cm mana"....dia perli aku lah tuuu.......

aziiemy

mami-kepo -lawaklah..  tak per.. biar budak budak ni takut skit..

aku tak de lah nak memukul anak.. cubit pun sekali sekala tu biasalah.. pasal tiap kali masuk bilik air.. dia pegi mandi.. pastu pegi tekan shower gel sampai habis..

azzahra

penah gak jerit...pastu anak i tegok je muka i smbil blur
agaknya heran tetiba mak dia jd mcm tu...

azzahra

mmg susah nak tahan sabo...
kdg2 i smpai nangis sbb tahan marah.
pastu anak i pn nagis sama..uwaaaaaa
tp bukan sll pn ada la sekali 2 gitu.
tp anak i  tau & masih ingat i nangis sbb dia.

saizeriya

i think kalau sekali sekala marah anak dgn 'jerit' takpe rasanya.. tp bila selalu marah, anak akan lali dgn jeritan kite and tak heran..

well..just my 2 cents..