The Abilene Paradox

foundation

Just want to share one interesting thing I found.   Personally, have seen this happened especially in mgmt.
What do you think?  Anyone has similar experience?  Care to share?

"On a hot afternoon visiting in Coleman, Texas, the family is comfortably playing dominoes on a porch, until the father-in-law suggests that they take a trip to Abilene [53 miles north] for dinner. The wife says, "Sounds like a great idea." The husband, despite having reservations because the drive is long and hot, thinks that his preferences must be out-of-step with the group and says, "Sounds good to me. I just hope your mother wants to go." The mother-in-law then says, "Of course I want to go. I haven't been to Abilene in a long time."

The drive is hot, dusty, and long. When they arrive at the cafeteria, the food is as bad. They arrive back home four hours later, exhausted.

One of them dishonestly says, "It was a great trip, wasn't it." The mother-in-law says that, actually, she would rather have stayed home, but went along since the other three were so enthusiastic. The husband says, "I wasn't delighted to be doing what we were doing. I only went to satisfy the rest of you." The wife says, "I just went along to keep you happy. I would have had to be crazy to want to go out in the heat like that." The father-in-law then says that he only suggested it because he thought the others might be bored.

The group sits back, perplexed that they together decided to take a trip which none of them wanted. They each would have preferred to sit comfortably, but did not admit to it when they still had time to enjoy the afternoon."

cokkodok

pelajaran yang aku dapat...

jgn buat semua perkara hanya untuk memuaskan hati orang lain (tp in certain cases mgkn boleh)

we dont have to agree with every suggestions.... Just because everybody did, doesnt mean that we should also be into it. Tapi if it is for good mungkin boleh di consider. Request for justification

be honest with your own thought and  with yourself (tp in certain cases we have to be a bit compromising and considering la kan)

nazadiyah

pelajaran yang aku dapat lak.......tanggapan kepada pekerja tidak semua baik dan tidak semua buruk.....

kita kene balance 50/50.... baru

seribulan

1. People tend to follow the crowd...

2. People like to remove the blame from themselves when the outcome of an action is negative and put it somewhere else...

foundation

Originally posted by cokkodok at 28-5-2007 10:38 AM
we dont have to agree with every suggestions.... Just because everybodydid, doesnt mean that we should also be into it. Tapi if it is for goodmungkin boleh di consider. Request for justification

be honest with your own thought and  with yourself (tp in certain cases we have to be a bit compromising and considering la kan)

Saya setuju dengan pandangan anda.  Lebih2 lagi pula dalam context peer pressure kan?  Masih ingat zaman kanak2, bila kawan 'dare' buat sesuatu, mesti nak sambut dan terus reramai buat benda tu walaupun memang tak betul / baik sangat.

Kena honest and mungkin juga punya jatidiri atau self confidence to go against the crowd.  Mana tahu, silap2 kita 'menyelamatkan' semua dari membuat apa yang tidak dimahukan sebenarnya

foundation

Originally posted by nazadiyah at 28-5-2007 02:42 PM
pelajaran yang aku dapat lak.......tanggapan kepada pekerja tidak semua baik dan tidak semua buruk.....

kita kene balance 50/50.... baru

I like your simple but interesting analysis......

foundation

Originally posted by seribulan at 1-6-2007 01:12 PM
1. People tend to follow the crowd...

2. People like to remove the blame from themselves when the outcome of an action is negative and put it somewhere else...

kira kes 'taichi' laa ni ye.... kalau bagus i take the credits, kalau tak kena org lain.... thanks

wisteria

selalu jugak involve with this kinda of situation .. do we have choice sometimes?

foundation

I like to think that we have choices but maybe at any particular point in time (usually where a decision is required), it's just limited.  Sometimes not real limitations but perceived.  

Tapi kan 'perception is reality'

nazadiyah

yah maybe limited in certain cases...depends on capabality, time,money, empower man....but friend wecan push and force to get our right...dunt simply rely on nasib...there we know where is our limit......

wisteria

yes ... LIMITED ...

Halilintar

Lor...rugi masa camtu jek...

wei_loon5063

Is this a paradox? :stp:

I thought this is misunderstanding...

A paradox suppose to be two statement that contradic each other.

e.g.

God can do anything;

can god create a stone that HE cant lift?

there cant be an argument or the argument is endless.....

yusrin

aku selalu alami situasi yg sebegini
so pengajarannya..'be brave to say NO'...

wisteria

but sometimes a simple "no" can hurt a heart for hundred years

huhuhuhuhu

seribulan

Biar bergaduh awal-awal...kesannya kecil...say No at first...
Dari bergaduh di kemudian hari...lagi besar kesannya...
macam gunung berapi meletup...

foundation

Originally posted by wei_loon5063 at 7-6-2007 11:20 PM

A paradox suppose to be two statement that contradic each other.

That's very simplistic.  and so is the example of 'paradox' given.

In any case, why focus on the title instead of the content?

foundation

Originally posted by yusrin at 8-6-2007 08:19 AM
aku selalu alami situasi yg sebegini
so pengajarannya..'be brave to say NO'...

Yup....it's okay to be different and don't just always follow the crowd

foundation

Originally posted by seribulan at 8-6-2007 02:25 PM
Biar bergaduh awal-awal...kesannya kecil...say No at first...
Dari bergaduh di kemudian hari...lagi besar kesannya...
macam gunung berapi meletup...

setuju.......

Mansairaku

we are responsible for our own decisions,
some are wrong decisions,
some are foolish decisions,
but still those are ours ..
to make excuses after everything is done and said,
will prevent yourself from learning from your mistakes ..