Mencari POSITIF bagi sesuatu yang NEGATIF

mbhcsf

hmm...pada saya lah ...ia macam kita generate excuses hence the rationales tu sebab tu i feel there is something wrong to put konsep as  high as bersyukur in this particular situation. ntahlah

amazed

so abaikan aje.. abaikan aje la apa yg terselindung disebalik ayat2 penulis
apa rasa yg terkandung dalam ayat2 penulis.. abaikan aje la..
amek benda yg mudah2 je & bersyukur.. habis cerita..

aku suka apa yang ms naden tulis ni..... pada aku tak yah nak buat comparison... so apa yang ms naden tulis tu memang to the point.. You want to be positive .. think positive  .. then no need to start.. for instance: ahhh  lucky me he/she is still sleeping with me in our bed... and not with someone else...

Let's put it this way, he/she can still be sleeping with you... but his/her mind might be thinking of someone else..  now.. how positive can that be...

Therefore as ms naden said, take it the simplest way, be thankful for what you have..

mbhcsf

hmm..ambil mudah jer dan bersyukur? hmmm..is it bad or good?

naden

ehemmmm.. elo elo.. saya bukan MS naden, ok.. i tulen bangggg~

maksud saya dalam yg awak quote tu -
bergantung pada kita sendiri camne nak terima sesuatu itu
pandangan orang lain mungkin xkan sama macam pandangan kita
mcm contoh yg mod agul beri - air dalam gelas - 1/2 penuh? atau 1/2 kosong?
sama macam apa yg orang lain cakap/tulis jugak
terpulang pada kita - bagaimana kita menerima, memahami & menghalusi
adakah ianya baik? atau tidak? atau amek jalan mudah - abaikan aje.. habis situ je

mmg kita xkan tau apa yg orang lain fikirkan - kecuali kalau orang tu sendiri yg luahkan
so sementara orang tu nak luahkan, kita sendiri camne? xrasa pape? or terus buat telahan?
& kalaupun orang tu luahkan - apakah kita akan terima dgn terbuka? dgn rela & redha?
benda camni xkan habis kalau kita masih nak cari makna yg terselindung..
so mungkin sbb tu ada orang yg abaikan aje & move on utk perkara2 yg lebih penting
tapi abaikan perkara tu bukan bermakna dia terus lupa -
mungkin masih ada rasa yg masih bergumpal dalam dada
maka dikemudian hari akan terjadi la sesuatu yg dipanggil 'mengungkit'..
apa gunanya move on kalau dalam hati, perkara tu masih x settle?

naden

"there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" - shakespeare; hamlet

betul ke berfikiran positif bagus? & betul ke berfikiran negatif xbagus?
pada pendapat nad - masing2 ada pros & cons - bergantung pd situasi
dua2 tu diperlukan dalam hidup ni.. yg penting kena seimbangkan..

contohnya : berfikiran positif - bila ada sumthing happened - yg kita xjangka,
maybe kesannya pada kita lebih teruk.. sbb fikir yg positif, harapan & jangkaan kita
terhadap tahap pencapaian tu lebih tinggi.. so bila 'terjatuh', maybe kita xbersedia..
so rasanya perlu ada sedikit fikiran yg negatif dalam menghadapi atau menangani sesuatu
supaya kita lebih bersedia untuk menerima & mengatasi perkara yg paling buruk -
tu pun kalau la perkara yg buruk tu happen kan..

berfikiran negatif - selalunya lebih 'kreatif' dalam memikirkan kesan & akibat
daripada perbuatan & tindakan dalam sesuatu perkara.. selalunya akan amek masa sikit
dalam menimbang pilihan keputusan/tindakan yg akan diamek.. & selalunya jugak akan
fikirkan kesan2 terhadap orang2 sekeliling.. tapi perlu ada fikiran yg positif - untuk
menggerakkan diri kita dalam amek tindakan, lebih yakin dgn keputusan & pelihara
harapan tu supaya xkan musnah atau memusnahkan..

tapi xboleh la kalau terlalu fikir negatif atau positif aje.. so kat sini la BALANCE tu perlu ada..
keduanya saling melengkapi.. untuk membolehkan kita bertindak & menerima kesan drpd
tindakan & keputusan kita tu..

amazed

Truth to be told memang banyak yang try nak convince kan dalam diri sendiri semuanya dah A okay..  In fact, bila bercerita tentang masalah yang ada dengan sedara mara or rakan taulan,  seolah-olah dia dah boleh redha dengan ketentuan dan boleh terima 'fate' itu dan apa saja lah, tapi sebenarnya dia cuma nak convincekan diri sendiri aje...  and trust me, when people do that, that's because he himself is insecure and can't accept the situation till the reality sink in..   

Pada aku bila aku menerima berita ex gf aku dah suka guy lain..  memang aku buat macam tu lah...dan sekarang; perkara negative tersebut  memang aku pandang positive sekarang... for me better know now then in 5 years on the road and that's calm me down and hit me to accept the reality and thankful for knowing it sooner...

Kalau aku dah kawin, dan wife aku pulak mempunyai affair dan dah jatuh hati dengan guy lain, honestly aku tak akan fight tentang perasaan dia tu, kalau mereka berdua suka each other, why stop it,  kebahagiaan bukan terletak pada orang lain, aku nak bahagia, bukan nak ada doubt in my life... pada aku, merelakan dan melepaskan wife aku adalah lebih baik dari aku stay in the marriage yang aku akan dok teringat-ingat 'affair' dia and believe me - one of these days when the going gets tough, all those stuff will be dug up..  no doubt!!

Pada aku negative tentang 'affair' tu jadi positive bila aku tidak ada worriness langsung untuk 'accept' dan turn the life to the positive way..  there' re lots of opportunity in this world    Tuhan bagi kita 'akal ....  go out and do something useful for you and yours instead of complaining and b韙ching how unfair life is...


p/s: sorry bro naden.. ingat kan awak pompuan  hehe

Agul

Feeling is not necessarily good or bad. It is just energy.

Only diffrent feeling have different level of energy to it...

Positive feeling are more empowering. More toward I can.

mbhcsf

"there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" - shakespeare; hamlet
- how powerful a perception is....

ninoZ

eh...both negative n positive energy boleh membentuk momentum yang sama kuat lah..equally enpowering

my-alja

Originally posted by ninoZ at 18-1-2008 04:00 AM
eh...both negative n positive energy boleh membentuk momentum yang sama kuat lah..equally enpowering

exactly...and we have a choice,  either negatif or positive one

the problem is a PLOM..(poor little old me), when we have this sindrom...we love to choose the negative one

my-alja

Originally posted by mbhcsf at 18-1-2008 01:31 AM
"there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" - shakespeare; hamlet
- how powerful a perception is....

org kentut, mana pernah rasa dia "bad"

yg duk bau, mana pernah rasa "good"

Agul

In my experience, they are not the same. The level of energy they gives off are different.

For example, apathy ranks really low and have no power whatsoever while other emotion such as lust and anger is stronger. The most empowering of negative emotion is pride. And other positive emotion such as courageousness are much more powerful.

At least that's the model I'm working on...

naden

agul.. ni.. energy = tenaga penggerak? or energy = aura?
ada kaitan dgn cosmic law (emotions) ke? huhuhu~

xberapa faham sangat pasal konsep ni.. tapi rasa2nya..
kekuatan energy tu bergantung kpd kadar kekuatan emotion
maybe.. lg kuat perasaan tu, lg kuat la jadinya pemikiran kita
seterusnya lg kuat ianya pengaruhi perbuatan/tingkahlaku kita..
& rasanya energy dari orang lain & persekitaran pun leh mempengaruhi
kita jugak.. bergantung kpd cara kita absorb tempias energy tu..
ek? betul ek konsep ni? hahaha.. ntah ek.. *confuzed*

tapi rasanya mana2 emotion pun boleh hasilkan energy yg powerful..
bergantung pd individu tu - kuat mana emotion dia, how dia unleash energy tu
& bagaimana energy tu boleh effect diri sendiri, orang lain & persekitaran..

disebabkan xtau samada agul maksudkan energy tu tenaga atau aura,
so xleh la nak cuba fikir lebih jauh & bentang lg teori2 yg lain.. huhuhu~

naden

Originally posted by mbhcsf at 18-1-2008 01:31 AM
"there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" - shakespeare; hamlet
- how powerful a perception is....

yups! persepsi boleh mengubah emosi & reaksi
& seterusnya mempengaruhi fikiran, perasaan & tindakan..
bila dah melakukan tindakan, ia akan pengaruhi lak individu2 lain
yg seterusnya mengubah emosi & reaksi mereka
& akhirnya mempengaruhi fikiran, perasaan & tindakan mereka juga..

mungkinkah akhirnya akan pengaruhi masyarakat, bangsa, negara.. dunia?

neverending chain of reaction & emotion
from a single perception/misinterpretation..
papepun.. kita boleh memilih utk terpengaruh, berubah, atau abaikan saje..

mbhcsf

you my dear have actually come very close to psychoanalyzing me.hmm...interesting.

yep it's kind of hard when you are struggling with self - actualization or having expectation unmet.

tapi tulah untuk apa apa pun, nak cari or finding the balance is always the most difficult thing to do.

[ Last edited by  mbhcsf at 19-1-2008 10:55 AM ]

Agul

Subscribing to the sedona method of giving scale to emotion...

On the negative side (for lack of better word)

Apathy, grief, fear, lust, anger, pride (agflap)

Positive side

Courageousness, acceptance and peace (CAP)

While agflap is not necessarily bad, they are less empowering than CAP...
For example in apathy, we feel that it's no use, why bother. We feel totally helpless. So it is the less empowering of all emotion...

In pride (the most powerful of negative emotion) we want to mantain the status quo. Unwilling to change and we feel we have to stop others from movement since they might pass us up.

In courageousness we are willing to move without fear or hesitation. To do whatever is needed.

So as we go through each feeling, we can feel it and these different feeling are not equally empowering.

http://blog.nieuwenhuyse.nl/2007/07/sedona-method_10.html

Eventhough there are only 9 type of emotion in this system, there are lots of more keyword that falls into each of them.

wei_loon5063

Originally posted by Agul at 16-1-2008 09:27 PM
But most people over-worry...

especially the americans............

dutchy

Originally posted by mbhcsf at 18-1-2008 01:31 AM
"there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so" - shakespeare; hamlet
- how powerful a perception is....

the mind is the most powerful tool, albeit when used in the correct and proper manner
too many of us measure our live by our own yardstick, and it's either positive or negative and thereby giving ourselves more pressure that is unneeded in most circumstances

naden

ohh okay.. xpernah dengar lak sedona method ni..
hahaha thanks agul - 4 the link & infos!
menarik gak eh.. nanti nak usha2 lagi..

neway.. C = E0/t + E1/t
(C=consumption of energy : Kcal/sec, E0=energy consumed at rest : Kcal,
E1=additional energy to think & act, t=time interval)
sila buat kira2 sendiri kalau nak tau berapa tenaga yg diperlukan
untuk 'intelligent system' - yg belajar dari situasi & beri respon utk capai matlamat..

skrg dah byk bahan bacaan/website yg bincangkan pasal emosi-energy ni
memacam fahaman & sumber pun ada.. menarik gak utk dibaca..
contohnya macam kat sini - http://joy2meu.com/emotions.html
(byk quote drpd buku Codependence:The Dance of Wounded Souls)

p/s : train macam dah terlajak station dah ni agul

Agul

Train of thought never ends...   

right now there are many system of mastering emotion such as sedona method, focusing, the hoffman process, eft and etc...

EFT is based on tapping certain points on our bodies to affect changes in our emotion. Seems crazy, isn't it? But many people vouch for their effectiveness.

I think it's good if some one start a thread on emotion.