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Most of the time, kids who are slow to develop in one area catch up just fine. But sometimes late milestones can signal a problem. The warning signs:

• Your child is delayed in more than one area. For instance, she's 15 months old and hasn't uttered a word or taken a step, and she seems to be wrapped up in her own world, or she doesn't turn to look at you when you enter a room or say her name.
  

• The delay is two months or more from the norm. He's 17 months old and not walking, or he's 7 months and hasn't smiled yet.
  

• Your child doesn't seem to understand or respond when you talk. Somewhere between 8 and 12 months, most babies will point to their favorite stuffed animal if you ask them where it is, or at least look in the right direction. By 12 to 15 months, they'll begin to respond to simple verbal requests: If you ask a typical 1-year-old to bring you her shoe, she will.
  

Easing your worries
Milestones are often a source of stress for new moms, particularly if they focus too much on checking off items on a development chart rather than simply enjoying the glorious journey of their child's growth. How to stop the worries:

• Back away from the computer. Fueled by Internet searches, your mind can travel down all sorts of frightening pathways if your baby is not hitting his milestone markers. But the truth is that "normal" has very broad parameters.
  

• Stop comparing your baby to others. There is no indication that minor variations in the achievement of milestones have any relationship to later abilities or disabilities. So just because your friend's little achiever rolls over sooner than your baby doesn't mean your kid is less advanced.
  

• Seek help in extreme cases. A mild delay in one area of development is generally not a cause for concern, but if it's coupled with other delays, talk to your doctor. Also, let your pediatrician know when there's a lag of more than a few months in any area of development.
  

Your baby's first year is full of wonderful surprises  -- for him and for you. Try not to worry about whether he's smiling, crawling, or walking "on time," and offer him gentle encouragement. And most of all, enjoy the ride!

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Your baby's first step toward mobility isn't actually a step at all  -- it's a roll.

When she's about 2 or 3 months old, she may flip from front to back. During tummy time (which you should supervise), your baby may lift herself into a push-up position and then start to rock back and forth or kick her feet. Then, if she's strong enough, those movements will send her rolling over. (She may get startled and cry the first time!)

Flipping from back to front often takes until around 5 months because it requires more coordination and strength. At that point, some babies take up rolling as a means of rapid transport. You don't need to coach your baby to roll, though; just make sure she has a safe place to try it out if she wants to.

Since you can't predict when your baby might take up rolling, keep a hand on her during diaper changes and never leave her unattended on an elevated surface.

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Your baby's first-year motor development follows a pretty straight line, starting with his head and moving down to his toes. Here's how:

Head (6-8 weeks)
It'll be pretty wobbly at first. But by 2 months or so, your baby will be able to hold his head up straight and look around. His eyes will start to focus better, too.

Arms (3-4 months)
Soon after your baby can hold up and control his head, he'll figure out how to coordinate and use his arms, too. Lie him on his back under an activity arch and he'll grab for the toys dangling above him  -- and sometimes even manage to catch one.

Torso (4-6 months)
As he gains better control of his upper body, he'll start to prop himself up in a tripod position. Once he has the strength to hold himself up, he'll figure out how to turn his body from side to side. Now's a great time to teach him a game like patty-cake.

Lower body (7-11 months)
At this point, he may start to crawl as he learns to move his arms and legs simultaneously. Some babies go straight to standing, though.

Legs and feet (12-14 months)
Here comes the baby! Those little legs want to get moving, so he'll try cruising and will even stumble around while you hold his hands. Keep his shoes off while he learns to walk: It helps if his feet can feel the floor.

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the first strike: babyhood
Though the timing can vary from child to child, separation anxiety typically first hits around 8 months, when babies suddenly grasp that their parents exist apart from themt. Literally, it's like, boom! They understand you can leave. They don't, however, understand that you're coming back. This anxiety may last several weeks, or even a few months, until your child realizes that you're not, in fact, abandoning him for life -- you're just going to the bathroom.

how to get through it:
start early  By 6 months, introduce your baby to other regular caregivers, such as relatives or a babysitter. Your child needs practice being away from you, hopefully well before preschool. You want someone else to hold and talk to your kid a little differently. These experiences may minimize her anxiety later on when you're not around.

keep your goodbye short  A quick "Bye dear, see you this afternoon!" is ideal. Prolonging the departure gives your child the idea that there's something to be afraid of. But here's the really tough part: Try not to let the sobbing lure you back. Reappearing after you've left only gives your child incentive to cry harder and longer next time.

match your body language to your words  Your child can sense your confidence as you walk out the door. Flash a smile, give a cheerful wave. You'll be faking it, of course, but she won't know that yet. She'll just know that you feel good about who she's with -- and she can, too.

avoid sneaking off  Parents often dash out the door when the child isn't looking, hoping -- understandably! -- that this will preempt a meltdown. But that's tricking your child, and it can break your child's trust in you. Instead, first ask your caregiver to redirect your child's attention right after you leave with a favorite toy, a game of peekaboo, or some new music (whatever), then say your quick goodbye.

the peak: toddlerdom
For some kids, separation anxiety vanishes before toddlerhood; for others, that's when it starts, peaking sometime between 12 and 24 months and bringing a more potent dose of distress. This is when children develop a strong sense of attachment to the parent. You'll see tantrums or screaming or hysterical crying. (Worried your child's reaction is extreme? Visit Separation Anxiety in the Extreme for more info.) What's also at play now is their desire to have some control over their lives. They know by now that you're coming back, but they would prefer that you stick around. And because they also know that wailing will usually get a reaction, they give it their best shot.

how to get through it:
develop a goodbye ritual For example, whenever you have to leave your toddler at daycare, give her two kisses and a high five. The ritual creates order around the departure for both parent and child. And that provides security.

give your child a small job This strategy can also work with kids who get anxious when you have to leave the room. For instance, if you need to get the laundry, give your child a sweater to "fold" until you get back.

provide an ETA  A child this age doesn't understand 'three hours,' but you can say, 'I'll be back after snack time,'. And do your best to return when promised. It's tempting to think he won't know the difference if you're significantly late, but at some point he will -- and you can't predict when. If you're heading out for a late night, tell him you'll see him in the morning.

remind your toddler that you always return  You can put your own twist on this trick: When they'd say, 'Mommy, don't go,' You can ask, 'What does Mommy do when she leaves?' and they'd say, 'Mommy comes back,'. Still works every time.

the relapse: preschool age
For parents, this may be the most exhausting form of separation anxiety. Just when you think your child's developed a little independence, the tantrums and tears come roaring back, usually thanks to a new stress such as a new sibling, going to school, an illness in the family, or moving to a different house. Fortunately, the anxiety relapse usually lasts only a few weeks, according to experts. With a sibling, it's about attention. They worry that they come second now, that their parents are going to forget about them. In the case of a new school, the child knows that Mommy will come back but may nonetheless feel unsafe or uncertain without her. Suddenly the child is in an unfamiliar place and isn't sure whom to trust. Plus, he has to share the attention of the teacher with all these other kids. No wonder some of them get overwhelmed!

how to get through it:
let your child know it's okay to feel nervous  Catch yourself if you reflexively say, "Be a big boy." Instead, give your child a hug and say something like "I know that you're nervous. Let's think of another time you were scared but it was okay. Remember the first time in the pool?" You'll help show him that his feelings are normal -- and that he'll be able to handle them. We're often so proud of an autonomous child that we don't fully appreciate that the stepping-stone toward that autonomy involves a decent amount of dependence.

plan some extra one-on-one time  You can make a point of giving your child extra attention, especially when they'd fix their meals. Experts say the additional one-on-one time makes the child feel confident in the parent's love and less threatened.

develop a predictable bedtime routine This is a good idea in general, but it can be especially helpful when your child is going through a tough time. It helps show him that there is order in his world. You can even make a posterboard listing the exact times of nighttime tasks. For example: 6:00, dinner; 6:20, bath; 6:40, pajamas; 6:45, brush teeth; 6:50, storytime; 7:00, bedtime.

do your best not to cave in A preschooler who is experiencing separation anxiety may also regress in other ways, such as asking for her pacifier back or insisting on sleeping with you. When you're exhausted or fed up, it's only natural to take the path of least resistance and ease up on the rules you've established. But more than anything, a kid needs structure and routine. If you give her Binky back, it's going to make it a lot harder to take it away again. Instead of altering the routine, give your child extra hugs and kisses. Plus, by maintaining the sameness, you're sending the message that there's nothing wrong. Of course, we all give in sometimes. So if you find yourself being more flexible than you planned, cut yourself slack and try again.

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One of the most frustrating parts of being a new parent is feeling clueless about your baby's wants and needs. Does a soft, whimpering cry mean he's got a wet diaper -- or that he's getting hungry? What about a loud screech? And forget about crying for a moment -- what does it mean when your baby rubs her ears, or flails her arms around?

Babies communicate long before they say their first words. Babies are born with the ability to express several emotions, including distress and contentment. When we read their cues and respond quickly to their needs, babies feel secure and the parent-child bond is strengthened. Of course, easier said than done -- not all babies send the exact same signals, and sometimes it takes months before you feel truly in tune with your baby. Still, some general principles apply. Read on for expert advice on how to decode three major types of baby cues.

MAKING FACES
Little frowns, wrinkled foreheads -- your baby's expressions can be fleeting and easy to miss. Compared to crying, facial expressions are certainly more subtle. Watch closely, however, and you'll soon catch these familiar expressions:

Gaze aversion
A baby who turns his face away from you needs a break from eye contact. From about two months on, babies disconnect if they're feeling overwhelmed or over stimulated. Sometimes, the baby will turn his head to the side almost stubbornly, or play with his fingers or toes, or even start crying -- anything to break contact with an adult.

What to do: New parents sometimes get overenthusiastic when interacting with baby. These parents will try moving into their baby's line of sight even if the infant has turned away, or they may keep talking, tickling or jostling to win back their baby's attention. Respect your baby's need for down time, and wait patiently and quietly until he turns back to you. Then, smile broadly and re-engage with your baby.

Smiling
The first true smile usually occurs between six and eight weeks. At this early age, smiles are likely a signal of physical contentment. For some baby's first smile, for instance, was triggered by the coziness of a warm towel after her bath. But soon, smiles become more controlled, and happen when your baby is around loved ones.

What to do: Encourage your baby by reacting positively to her first smiles; laugh and smile back at her, tell her how terrific she is -- even if she doesn't understand the words, she gets the message.

Copycat
We are blueprints for our babies. Between three and six months, most infants will learn to imitate facial expressions -- fear, surprise, sadness, a baby will take in a new situation (i.e. the appearance of a stranger), then look back at her mother's face. If the baby sees the parent is also distressed, then her anxiety will increase. Usually, the baby will start clinging or crying.

What to do: Remember that if you're feeling stressed, your baby will be too. If it's a minor case of anxiety, take some deep, cleansing breaths and consciously relax your facial muscles to ease tension. In many cases, the act of smiling itself is likely to calm you down. Follow that with strong, smooth touch such as hugging or patting, to let your baby know everything is okay. (Of course, if you're reaching the point of anger or frustration, you should always hand your baby off to someone else. If you're alone, put him down in a safe place like his crib until you've calmed down.)

BODY TALK
Studies suggest that about 90 percent of communication by babies and adults is nonverbal. For instance, many babies make little fists when they're hungry and begin feeding. Once they are satisfied and full, their hands relax and open. Other common body language cues:

Arching his back
Starting a few weeks after birth, babies begin arching their backs when they're in discomfort. It might mean he has reflux, especially when the arched back is combined with crying. The baby will squirm around and move to try to get to a more comfortable position. Often babies arch their backs when they've had enough to eat and want to move away from the breast. (Around 4 or 5 months, this movement might mean something completely different -- that your baby is trying to roll over for the first time.)

What to do: Your baby probably just needs a change of position (after all, she can't move very much herself yet.) If she's in a carrier, car seat, or stroller, try taking her out for a few minutes; hold her upright against your shoulder or give her some wiggle time on the floor.

Rubbing eyes and/or ears
Babies will rub their eyes and ears with their hands when they are starting to tire. Before 6 months, they rub their faces against something if they are tired or itchy. After that, they might discover an ear by accident, and take comfort in pulling or rubbing it. Ears are a sensitive part of the body, and babies like feeling them.

What to do: Start your bedtime or naptime routine as soon as baby begins rubbing his ears and face. One caveat: If your baby is rubbing his ears, has a temperature of over 101 degrees, and is fussy, he may have an ear infection and you should call your pediatrician, says Dr. Saysana.

Rooting
The rooting reflex is a key to survival, as it helps the baby find food. A newborn will turn his head whenever something touches his cheek. The reflex disappears after the first few weeks, although babies will still turn toward you to nurse -- it's not automatic anymore and becomes a cue they are hungry.

What to do: Use the rooting reflex to your advantage while your baby figures out feeding; a simple touch of the cheek will help him find the breast or bottle.

Startle reflex
Loud noises, bright lights, or a head bobble can trigger the startle reflex -- babies jerk, spread out their arms and legs, then quickly pull them back in and cry. The startle reflex is present at birth, but fades between three and six months.

What to do: Although startling doesn't hurt the baby, it can feel scary and set off a crying fit. To recreate the security of the womb, where sound and light were muffled, try swaddling your baby with a lightweight receiving blanket. (This technique is best for younger babies. By four months, most babies can squirm out of a swaddle, after
six months, swaddling can lead to hip problems.)

CRY BABY
Crying is the quickest way for your baby to let you know she's tired, hungry, in pain -- or just plain fussy. But which cry is which? At birth, all the cries sound pretty much the same. Newborn babies cry when they inhale and exhale; they don't have much respiratory control. Start listening for variations around one month -- as your baby matures, you'll be able to figure out what she wants from the cry she makes. Here are the biggies:

Hungry cry
A baby will generally wake up hungry and crying for food. It's a short, low-pitched cry, just over a second in duration. If you don't respond quickly, the cry becomes louder and more intense.

What to do: Respond to your baby as quickly as possible, especially in the first few months of life. You're not going to spoil your baby by picking him up and feeding him right away. Tending to your baby's hunger immediately teaches him that you'll always be there to care for his needs.

Pain cry
A cry of pain comes on much more suddenly than a hunger cry. It's about twice as long, and continuous- that is, it doesn't rise and fall in pitch.

What to do: Go through a mental checklist when trying to comfort your baby. Could she have a wet or soiled diaper? Could she be too cold -- or too warm? (A baby waking up in a car seat, for instance, is often overheated.) Look your baby over from head to toe. Sometimes a piece of clothing or edge of a diaper is pinching her skin.

Tired cry
Between two and three months, your baby's cries will become more varied, and he may develop a cranky, "tired" cry. "It may be a softer variation of his distress cry. (Don't forget to use common sense in deciphering cries: If your baby's been awake for a couple hours, it's more than likely you're hearing a sleepy cry.)

What to do: Try rocking in a chair or on your feet, swaying from side to side, gently stroking his head or chest, or softly singing. You'll quickly find out what works best to quiet your baby.

Cooing, babbling and laughing
Babies "talk" between two and three months. They start to match the pitch and variation of the parent's tone. By four to six months, babies experiment even more with their voices; they babble, putting consonant and vowel sounds together and make raspberry sounds. Her voice can express a range of emotions -- happy, mad, irritated, protesting, eager and satisfied.

What to do: Narrate your activities as you go through the day with your baby ("Now I'm going to run the water for your bath," "Look at the pretty butterfly!") - pausing to let her babble back at you. Encourage her by mimicking the sounds she makes - and enjoy these first, memorable conversations!

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To the untrained ear, a baby's cry is simply a baby's cry: It's loud, it's uncomfortable, it's interminable. Once you're a mom, though, you learn that your child has a whole repertoire of shrieks, sobs, and wails. And just when you think you've figured out what her cries mean, she uses them in new ways. Here, what triggers the tears, and how to handle them.

Infants: Birth to 6 months
Your newborn's wet? She cries. She's in pain? She cries. Wants milk? She cries. Newborns can't control their crying any better than you can control your hiccups. In the first few weeks of life, crying is sometimes a reflexive behavior. But it gives us that panicky feeling: "What's wrong? How do I stop it?"

It's important to step back, take a deep breath, and remember that infants are supposed to cry. Their crying isn't inherently good or bad. A baby isn't always attaching emotion to the crying -- she's crying because she has no other way to communicate.

Thanks to some amazing growth in the brain and nervous system around 6 weeks, a baby gains more control over her crying -- not much, but enough to make the connection that when she cries, you'll come to her with a diaper, a meal, or a cuddle. With every passing month, she'll make more sophisticated connections between her crying and your reactions. Oh, the fun you can look forward to!

What to do:
Give your baby a systems check. If you're not sure why she's crying, work through the top culprits. Is she fed? Check. Burped? Check. How's that diaper looking? Oops. Problem solved.

Swaddle, sway, shush. Your baby just spent nine months in a cozy, temperature-controlled environment. No wonder many infants respond to swaddling, swaying, and shushing, which mimic the feelings and sounds experienced in the womb. Since a newborn has no control over her muscles, swaddling keeps her arms and legs snug to her body and lets her get the uninterrupted sleep she needs.

Stop trying so hard. There is a case where a mother had exhausted every idea to get her son to stop crying, she put the 2-month-old down in a quiet, dark room. It was amazing, the crying stopped immediately. He just needed to get away from any stimulation.

Expose your baby to the real world. Some moms tiptoe around their newborns, thinking that peace and quiet are always what they need. In fact, she might be craving the sounds of the world she heard in the womb, like your voice, your spouse's singing, or music you played. Read aloud in a normal tone of voice, sing, or get creative.

Babies: 6 to 12 months
Around 6 months, your baby starts to figure out that he can cry to get a reaction from you. It's sort of like when he hurls his squash across the room and coolly watches you clean the mess, or when he extends his arms to be picked up. He's amassing an internal database of causes and effects.

This is also a time when you can see some personality changes: A big crier might be a lot happier these days, but a formerly placid infant can turn into Oscar the Grouch. My husband and I got to see a whole new side of our easygoing son Oliver around this time. We couldn't figure out why he cried so much more until he nipped me during a feeding (ouch!) and we noticed how irritated his bottom gums looked. Babies typically get their first teeth between 6 and 10 months, which can cause a lot of pain. And pain = tears.

Your baby is also puzzling out a psychological concept called object permanence. He was fine if you left the room when he was an infant, because he couldn't really comprehend that you were missing. Now when he sees you leave, he may be confused about where you are and whether you're coming back. Since he can't call out for you or ask where you're going, he uses the only tool he has -- crying -- to get your attention. After all, his early experiences prove that when he cries, you come running.

By now you may be able to distinguish between his different kinds of cries. But don't stress if you can't. It's a myth that all moms learn to tell what their babies want by the sound of their cries.

What to do:
Teach him to self-soothe. One cry you might be able to distinguish more easily than others is a tired cry: It comes in starts and stops. Let him soothe himself -- you'll be giving him a valuable lesson. If he cries every time you leave the room, simple games like peekaboo will help him learn the concept of object permanence, and eventually he'll realize you're still nearby. He'll still cry for you, but probably not every single time.

Change one thing at a time. Sometimes all a baby wants is to look at the other wall or try out a slightly different toy. So when he wails, don't go into a frenzy and give him five new things to absorb in the space of five seconds. Take it slow.

Try signing. Sign language can help babies communicate their needs without resorting to tears.

Give him something to chew on. Some babies don't give any physical signs that they're teething, like excessive drooling, biting, or irritated gums; they're simply more teary than usual. Try a chilled teething ring or a washcloth (first dampen an edge and then freeze it).

Young toddlers: 12 to 24 months
Now your baby's on the go, gaining and refining her motor and communication skills at an astonishing pace. Toddlers are excited by exploration but afraid of getting too far from you. That's a lot to handle -- no wonder they resort to tears.

Your child probably also is starting to talk but doesn't know how to express frustration when, say, a playdate pal "borrows" a toy. She may start to exhibit concrete fears, too -- the dark! dogs! fireworks! -- that test her coping skills. And while toddlers are getting better at controlling their tears, sometimes parents expect more than they should. "Going to bed may not be a big deal for you and me, but for a child there's a lot going on in her brain. She just can't shut it off," says Dr. Jana. And since she doesn't know what to do, she cries.

The good news? Crying is actually pretty productive (and expected) for toddlers: They learn they can get through the tears, then move on.

What to do:
Prepare for a more sophisticated adversary. As with babies, if your child is hungry, tired, or sick, you can often cure crying (and sometimes prevent it) with a snack, a nap, or TLC. But because toddlers know they can manipulate adults with their outbursts, they go for it with gusto. As Dr. Jana says, they're "like sharks in the water. They smell blood." So stay calm -- and never let them see you bleed.

Focus on your child, not her audience. Few things are more embarrassing than being in public with a screaming toddler. As hard as it is, don't worry about the people who are throwing you dirty looks or unhelpful comments. Otherwise you risk doing something -- anything -- to stop the flood, which isn't the best strategy for the long run. Find a quiet place and deal with your toddler's tears one-on-one.

Introduce "Use your words." You'll have to say this a bazillion times over the next few years, but it's important for children to attach words to their emotions. Assign words to what you're feeling. And being understood is really the biggest thing that babies and kids -- and, hey, adults -- want when they cry.

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The best news you'll likely hear all day: Unless you use well water, you don't have to sterilize bottles and pacifiers. Ever. Not before their first use. Not even for preemies. What you need to know:

You still have to clean them. Wash bottles and pacis thoroughly either in the dishwasher (on the top rack) or by hand with soap and water before every use, including the first. Bacteria can grow in liquid left at the bottom of bottles.

Go BPA-free. Exposing bottles that contain bisphenol A -- a plastic additive that may be linked to health problems -- to heat (in a microwave or dishwasher) may cause them to leach more of this chemical into your baby's milk. To skip this risk, avoid BPA (many manufacturers no longer use it anyhow).

Wash your hands. The biggest threats to the purity of bottles are your germy fingers. That's why, in neonatal intensive care units, they don't sterilize bottles, but they do scrub up often.

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Question:
Do you have any tips for trimming my baby's nails? They're so tiny, I'm worried that I'll slice her finger off instead!

Answer:
I can totally relate. On my first attempt to cut my first child's nails, I actually did cut her finger! Michaela was fine, but I was so traumatized that nail cutting became my husband's job for years. After watching him, and learning from moms in my practice, I got my nerve back. Some tricks I picked up:

File with an emery board instead of cutting if the nail isn't very long, or if it's more sharp than long.

Use a nail clipper designed for babies. The regular ones are harder to manage (and actually do look big enough to take off a baby's finger).

Do it upside down. With the nail up, facing you, you can't quite see what the bottom edge of the clipper is grabbing (that's how I cut my daughter's finger). Instead, flip her hand over so her nails are facing down. Then, with the hand that isn't holding the clipper, gently push the pad of each finger back as you trim. That way you can actually see where you're cutting.

Try a nibble instead. I got this one from moms in my practice. All you nail-biters can now put your skills to good use! (If you've heard that this could cause infection, know that the risk is tiny  -- even smaller than if you cut the skin with a clipper!  -- and worth it if nothing else works.)

Distract them. Put on a favorite show or video, hold your child on your lap, and cut away. She'll hardly even notice what you're doing.

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good sharing~~~~